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Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
1:01 am - color poll


(1 changed | change your life forever)

Monday, April 1st, 2002
3:45 pm - Yob (again)


OK, this picture of Yob should work. But if it doesn't you can click of this marvelous link

I hope it works, sorry the last one didn't. But you can always see Yob at the Zelazbeep website

current mood: hopeful

(2 changed | change your life forever)

Thursday, March 28th, 2002
11:23 am - Yob


That is what Yob looks like. This is of course, his true forn. At certain times, he could apprear as what ever he wanted to. That's the power of being a god.

current mood: indescribable

(1 changed | change your life forever)

Thursday, March 21st, 2002
10:18 am - Calculatorian

Recently, at the bottom of Flashystar Lake, an important document was discovered. This is a list written by the Zelazbeepians of ancient yore listing all the known words that can be made on a calculator in alphabetical order with their number codes beside them.. This is called Calculatorian, and was the common means of communication until English came along, which was about 3 million years ago.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Calculatorian, here is a brief description:
Calculatorian words are created by typing in a number on a calculator and then flipping the calculator upside down. Using this method, for example, 0.7734 would become "hello".

bed = 0.38
bedded = 0.30038
beds = 5038
be = 38
bee = 338
bees = 5338
beg = 638
begged = 0.36638
begs = 5638
bell = 7738
bells = 57738
bible = 37818
bibles = 537818
big = 618
bile = 3718
bill = 7718
billed = 0.37718
bills = 57718
bled = 0.378
bleed = 0.3378

I'll post another 20 in the next post. OK?

current mood: amused

(change your life forever)

Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
6:36 pm - The creation of Zelazbeep

For all of those whom are interested in knowing about the creation of the zelazbeepian world, here is the story:

Once, long long ago, and not really technically far away because the universe didn't really exist back then, there was a happy star named Happystar who was all alone in the universe.
"Holy shit" said Happystar, "I'm all alone in the universe!" So, he/she decided to do something about it.
"Beep!" he/she said, and a billion quadrillion stars all went POOF! and appeared. After that, Happystar decided to show off even more, and the non-gender-specific deity created simple one-celled organisms on a beautiful flat planet/dimension 16km2 called Zelazbeep. Happystar sat back and relaxed while evolution took place and did not interfere. After a while, Happystar got bored. So he/she created the computer.
One fine day, while surfing the web, boredom took hold. Happystar decided to type in random dot-com addresses to see if they actually existed. It was in doing this, that Happystar discovered that Happystar was the name of a japanese porn site.
"Holy shit" said Happystar. "I'm a japanese porn site!" Now, this would not do. As we all know, porn is the root of all evil. So, Happystar promptly changed his/her name to Flashystar. This made everyone much happier.
It was around the time of the first small furry creatures that Flashystar began to ponder the meaning of life. He/she had always thought up until now that he/she was a deity, but at this ponderous time in his/her life, he/she began to wonder. After all, Flashystar could not strike people down by lightning, which he/she found to be a great disappointment. As we can observe from this last statement, Flashystar was not very nice.
A few million years later, a wandering deity named Yob who lead a celtic band heard tell of this oppressive Flashystar character and decided to free the beautiful innocent zelazbeepian universe from Flashystar's clutches. So one day, while Flashystar was checking his/her email, Yob snuck up behind him/her, grabbed Flashystar by the scruff of the neck, and tossed him/her out of the universe into another dimension, never to return. The people rejoiced, and there was much yayness. From then on, Zelazbeep was happily looked after by Yob.
In this world today, there are those who still follow Flashystar, because, he/she did create the land of zelazbeep from scratch, but the majority of the population now follows Yob. If you would like to become a Yobist, click here.

current mood: awake

(1 changed | change your life forever)

Monday, January 28th, 2002
9:32 am - YOBBISM

For all of you whom actually check this (that would be me, I'm not really sure anyone else does) I've got news:

YOBBISM! It's a wonderful, wonderful religion and it's numbers are growing. So be sure to fill out the form so you'll be able to say that you were one of the first members of this craze that's going to sweep the nation. There is now a list of all the people that have already converted. For those who think this may conflict with your other religion, don't worry, yobbism is completly compatable with any religion. Any one is welcome. So convert today

It's also helps if you join this community. So you'll be updated with all the news concerning yobbists and the land of Zelazbeep.

current mood: hopeful

(change your life forever)

Friday, January 25th, 2002
5:57 pm - We now interrup your random internet viewing to bring you the following public service announcement:

Don't do drugs. Don't drink. If you do drink, don't drive. Don't smoke. This means don't smoke tobacco, eraser shavings, pine needles, paper, cue cards, small furry creatures or otherwise. We don't know what otherwise is, but don't smoke it. Be a well adjusted individual. Don't abuse others. Don't have unprotected sex. As a matter of fact, don't have sex at all. Refrain from having sex until at least until the age of 40. Chew your fruit 20 times before swallowing. Be kind to those who have A.S.S.* They can't help it if they're jerks. Eat a balanced diet. Make physical activity part of your daily routine. Obey the law. Trust in magic billiard balls. Rules were meant to be broken only on days ending with a "y".

*A.S.S. Appleby spastic syndrome (noun/medical term)
Definition: A medical term used to define persons who have drastic and spontanious mood swings, resulting in them in being nice one moment, then mean the next. These symptomes cause the persons to seem like a jerk.

Yes. Just a little reminder on the things everybody should know. New and old. Tell me what you think.

current mood: accomplished

(change your life forever)

Friday, January 18th, 2002
7:48 am - All Hail The Song

This is a tribute to the best song ever (all zelazbeepians must love it. Well. At least not hate it.) It's a long song, but read it anyways:

The Decline

Where are all the stupid people from?
And how'd they get to be so dumb?
Bred on purple mountain range
Feed amber waves of grains
To lesser human beings, zero feelings
Blame it on
Human nature, mans destiny (mans destiny)
Blame it on the greediocracy (greediocracy)
Fear of God
The fear of change
The fear of truth
Add the Bill of Rights, subtract the wrongs
There's no answers
Memorize and sing star spangled songs
When the questions
Aren't ever asked
Is anybody learning from the past?
We're living in united stagnation
Father what have I done?
I took that 22
A gift to me from you
To bed with me each night
Kept it clean
Polished it well
Cherished every cartridge, every shell
Down, by the creek, under brush, under dirt
There's a carcass of my second kill
Down, by the park, under stone, under pine
There's a carcass of my brother William
Brother where, have you gone to?
I swear, I never thought I could
I see so many times
They told me to shoot straight
Don't pull the trigger, squeeze
That will insure a kill
A kill is what you want
A kill is why we breed
The Christians love their guns
The church and NRA
Pray for their salvations
Prey on the lower faiths
The story book's been read
And every line believed
Curriculum's been set
Logic is a threat
Reason searched and seized
Jerry spent some time in Michigan
A twenty year vacation, after all he had a dime
A dime is worth a lot more in Detroit
A dime in California, a twenty dollar fine
Jerry only stayed a couple months
It's hard to enjoy yourself while bleeding out the ass
Asphyxiation is simple and fast
It beats seventeen fun years of being someones bitch
Don't think (Stay)
Drink your wine (Home)
Watch the fire burn (Be)
His problems not mine (Safe)
Just be that model citizen
I wish I had a schilling
(For each senseless killing)
For every senseless killing
I'd buy a government
America's for sale
And you can get a good deal on it
(A good deal on it)
And make a healthy profit
Or maybe, tear it apart
Start with assumption
That a million people are smart
Smarter than one
Serotonin's gone
She gave up, drifted away
Sara fled, thought process gone
She left her answering machine on
The greeting left spoken sincere
Messages no one will ever hear
Ten thousand messages a day
A million more transmissions lay
Victims of the laissez faire
Ten thousand voices, a hundred guns
A hundred decibels turns to oneOne bullet, one empty head
Now with Serotonin gone
The man who used to speak
Performs a cute routine
Feel a little patronized
Don't feel bad
They found a way inside your head
And you feel a bit misled
It's not that they don't care, yeah
The television's put a thought inside your head
Llike a Barry Manilow, jingle
I'd like, to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
A symphonic blank stare, yeah
It doesn't make you care (make you care)
Not designed to make you care (make you care)
They're betting you won't care (you won't...)
Place a wager on your greed
A wager on your pride
Why try to beat them when, a million others tried?
We are the whore
Intellectually spayed
We are the queer
Dysfunctionally raised
One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain
Living through conformity
One more prayer to keep me safe
One more prayer to keep us warm
One more prayer to keep us safe
There's gonna be a better place
Lost the battle, lost the war
Lost the things worth living for
Lost the will to win the fight
One more pill to kill the pain
Na na na na na
La na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
The going get tough, the tough get debt
Don't pay attention, pay the rent
Next of kins pay for your sins
A little faith should keep us safe
Save us
The human, existence
Is failing, resistance
Essential, the future
Written off, the odds are
Astronomically against us
Only moron and genius
Would fight a losing battle
Against the super ego
When giving in is so damn comforting
And so we go, on with our lives
We know the truth, but prefer lies
Lies are simple, simple is bliss
Why go against tradition when we can
Admit defeat, live in decline
Be the victim of our own design
The status quo, built on suspect
Why would anyone stick out their neck?
Fellow members
Club "We've Got Ours"
I'd like to introduce you to our host
He's got his, and I've got mine
Meet the decline
We are the queer
We are the whore
In the class war
We are worker
We love our queen
We sacrifice
We're soilent green
We are the queer
We are the whore
In the class war

current mood: touched

(change your life forever)

Sunday, January 13th, 2002
1:40 pm - Go. NOW.

There is much updated-ness and magical mysteries that are sufacing in the quiet little world of
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There is much updated-ness and magical mysteries that are sufacing in the quiet little world of <a href="http"//www.geocities.com/zelazbeep">Zelazbeep</a>. I HIGHLY *suggest* that you go check it out. That is all.

Revel in the updated-ness.

current mood: excited

(change your life forever)

Friday, January 11th, 2002
4:55 pm

For all of you who have not yet seen the wonders of Zelazbeep: I suggest you click on that little link up in the left hand corner of this page that says "profile" there, you will find links to all the info you need to find out more of this wonderful land we call Zelazbeep.

current mood: accomplished

(3 changed | change your life forever)

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